Over the many years of life coaching and life coaching training with thousands of people I have found that there are three very basic principles that enable people who want to achieve results actually achieve those results.
These three basic principles are not new and many people call them by different names. But the fact is they are the basis of getting results.
Whenever I am coaching a client, having a conversation, or conducting a training I hold these three concepts in my mind. I am listening to a person’s language pattern, and the way they use certain words like “try” or “I can’t”. I am asking myself what is going on in their mind that has them not achieving the goals they set for themselves or living the life they want.
Now if it was only these three things and these three things alone to get results then it would be easy, however it’s not but these three things are necessary to begin to see changes and positive results in your life.
The first of these three principles that I always have in my mind when doing life coaching is to make sure you are at cause and not at the effect of the world and/or environment around you. We use the formula C < E: ‘C’ for cause and ‘E’ for effect, with an arrow directed at ‘C’ as a reminder to be focused on being at cause of an issue, problem, situation, rather than at the effect of that issue, problem or situation, putting you in a stronger, more empowered position of response.
It is extremely disempowering to be at the effect of someone or something. Yet people are always slipping to the effect side of the equation, whether it’s related to work, relationships, career or health. You will know when you are on the wrong side of the equation when you are saying or thinking things like, “they did it to me”, “it’s because of A that B happened and therefore I couldn’t get what I wanted”, and “if it was not for them this wouldn’t have happened” etc. Changing your thinking around this will take some time but it is important to start in order to not be at the effect of whatever is going on around you.
So what side of the equation are you currently on?
What has happened this week or today that you are at the effect of? List them here and let’s see if there is a common theme or pattern of response.
In the next post I will talk about the 2nd principle for getting results when life coaching but for now let’s hear what or who you are at the effect of?